|Abuse Survivor Attends Funeral
|An abuse survivor attends her brothers funeral, the abuse continues
I attended my brother's funeral last Tuesday. He was autistic and died suddenly at 50 years old. My father does not usually have any contact with me, but rang me to let me know when he had died and the time and date of the funeral. I arrived alone, while the rest of my family arrived in the funeral car. As I approached the chapel, there were a crowd of Jehovah's Witnesses outside talking amongst themselves. They all went silent as I walked up to the chapel. My family arrived in procession and ignored me as they walked past me into the chapel. My older brother, who sexually abused me when I was 6 and he was 17, gave me a "smug" look as if to say "I may be the abuser, but you are the one who is on the outside." My younger brother who I also had arrested because he sexually abused my daughter when she was 5 and he was 15, also looked at me with the same experession.
They all walked into the chapel, followed by the rest of the people. The "Elder" who made sexual advances to me when I was 16, was helping out with the funeral. He walked up to me and asked me if I was going inside. I refused and told him I preferred to stay outside. He told me that there was a speaker outside so that I could hear the service. My parents have always been a friend of this "Elder" and they blamed me for leading him astray!! As soon as the service began, I did not want to listen to it, so I walked down to where the grave was. The coffin had been left by the graveside, so I was pleased to be able to spend some time alone with my brother before the burial. After all he is the only one in my family who is innocent and blameless and has no clue w hat has gone on in the family. As I saw the family approach the grave, I backed away and watched the burial from a distance. My mother was very upset and would not go near the graveside,or watch the burial. This is her typical way, "if I don't see it, it isn't happening!" I watched my father pat my two brothers on the back and my sister hugging my mother, they put on a big show of "we are all together and we do not need you." My father began to shake the hand of everyone, thanking them for attending, he did not come to me at all. The burial was over, so I left. The "wake" was being held at this "Elder's" house. I will NEVER go to a family funeral again, there is no one else there who deserves my presence. My parents are 71 and soon they will die and this s ituation will never change.
My eldest brother's daughter has had a "breakdown" recently and has said she cannot trust men and accused her father of being a paedophile. This niece was not at the funeral. My brother's wife is blind and wants to seperate from him, he is making HER leave the house, when she knows it so well, which is very cruel.
This whole situation makes me sick to the stomach, I want them all to pay for what they have done, I have to constantly tell myself that i am NOT a bad person. I have always tried to stand up for what is right.
Is there a branch of your organisation in the UK with whom I could get in touch? I have no family whatsoever that I can talk to and no one else seems to understand the anguish I go through.
Thankyou for listening.
Love and blessings