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A sister writes
A sister writes about her abuse and provides a living example of how WT Policy continues to hurt victims.
I was not raised as a witness. I was baptized in June 2004, after studying for a little over two years. During that time I was an unbaptized publisher and my husband also studied for the majority of that time. He was never baptized though. My husband had been abusive to me from the beginning of our marriage and the abuse had slowly escalated, however the more I did in service and the more regular I was in meeting attendance, the worse the abuse was. It had begun really getting worse when he was studying and learned he was the head. He then used this against me to excuse his behaviour. Sometime shortly after I was baptized my husband choked me and I was able to get him to come with me to speak with the elders. Of course they said how there was nothing they could do to him as he was not baptized. They informed him that this was a scriptural reason for separation and told him that they would support me in what I chose as I was the baptized witness and not him. However at the same time I was basically commended for not having called the police on him and was discouraged from ever doing so in the future. Another time I went to the elders alone about the abuse and as others have written I also was counselled about being a better wife and told to pray more and be patient. I told them this is what I had been doing and I was sick of waiting. By this time I had not prayed for a while because I lost all faith in any god who would prefer my children and me to live in this situation rather than to seek safety just because of marriage. My husband had told me he would never commit adultery just so if I did leave him I could never scripturally divorce him. I felt trapped in a marriage to a loveless man because of their rules. I began to resent god and came very close to a nervous breakdown. Finally I had not been going to meetings for several months when I had enough of my husbands abuse and left him. I no longer consider myself as one of Jehovahs Witnesses, even though I am not disfellowshipped. I have no plans of returning to the Kingdom Hall since I have seen now how little they actually help anyone who needs it. I am so glad to have found this site. It has helped so much to know that it is not just me, my pride, or my independent thinking that lead me to feel let down by this organization. To see that others have felt the same way is such a comfort. I hope that many more find this site and see that they are not alone. CR

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