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Untitled Document
A sister writes
The devestating effects of abuse

I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness. My parents were raised as Jehovah's Witnesses. My extended family on both sides are Jehovah's Witnesses. According to the model of what your supposed to do this should make for a "happy family."

 

As a child my father was a pervert. He never actually touched me but he exposed himself to me and my physical sisters on a regular basis as well as talked and behaved in a sexually perverted way around us. He 'spanked' us with a belt frequently from the age of 3 years old on up leaving bruises on our skin and scars in our hearts.

 

I later found out that his father was a pervert who abused his own mentally retarded daughter and also exposed himself to women in public several times.

 

Our mother was depressed, I recongnize that now as an adult, and did nothing about his behavior. She was verbally abused and was worn down by life.

 

Meanwhile, in other JW sections of our family more mental problems and incest that produced a child was happening in the home of my Uncle the elder. I also found out that another uncle's wife was abused from the time she was about 6 until she was engaged by her father, an elder.

 

I know what your thinking. This can't possibly be true. Well, it is. I'm 29 years old now. I am finally coming to peace with my past and with my father and with this relegion.

 

I was baptized a few days after I turned 14. I thought it was the right thing to do. Everyone said that it was and that was important in my life. My parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, the congregation and the elders all talked about it. So, I pleased them all and got baptized.

 

 When I was 17 I rebelled against it all and ran off to marry a man I barely knew. I immediately had 2 children and realized what a horrible mistake I made. I was distant and alienated from my family because I had married an 'unbeliever.' It was during this time after the birth of my 2 children that I began to have flashbacks to my childhood. Memories of things that my dad had done that I thought were OK at the time but as an adult knew were not, haunted me. I would tearfully call my mom and try to talk about it. She would just tell me it could have been worse. My husband was an alcoholic and died in a car accident drinking and driving when I was 20.

 

I was a widow, mother of two, and turning 21. I moved back home with my parents then quickly bought a house with the life insurance money I had received and tried to move on with my life. I met a man I thought really needed me, a drug addict this time. I was not prepared to marry him but started having a physical relationship with him.

 

I had cut all ties with Jehovah's Witnesses and was probably considered an inactive publisher or on public reproof I don't really know. My mom went and talked to the elder's about my having a boyfriend. The elder's met with me several times. I explained that I had no faith in God at all. I delved briefly into some family history that I had never voiced out loud in my life. I was crying. I was so confused. I just wanted someone to listen to me and understand me maybe even to help me understand me. I was disfellowshipped.

 

No one offered anything. They just looked at me. I felt betrayed. I felt cold and alone. I was ashamed to have even told them anything. I felt dirtier than ever.

 

The man I was seeing eventually commited suicide. Partially because I stopped dating him.

 

This hurts to talk about even now. I'm a very private and introverted person by nature. So, I rarely discuss my dirty laundry. I am happily remarried now.

 

I don't think all Jehovah's Witnesses are sexual predators. I just know most of the ones I knew intimately had sexual dysfunction in their life somewhere. I don't know if this reflects on JW's or just society as a whole.

 

I do know the Elder's did a great job protecting the congregation from me. Meanwhile, when the story broke about my Aunt's father, the Elder,  having abused her all of her childhood, nothing happened. He had a young daughter at home and was not removed as an elder. Well, the story did not really 'break' only our family knew about it. It turns out my Aunt's oldest brother had mimiced the behavoir of his father and molested the younger sister. The older brother had finally come out and told the elder's about it all.

Nothing ever happened to his father. No one told the police, and the other elder's did not even remove him as an elder.

 

I have been reinstated recently. I can finally talk to my family again. But, I know this relegion is not led by God. It is led by a corporation that is a mastermind at attaining free labor. It is locally led by imperfect men who have no idea what they are doing, because God could never make this MESS of handling these types of situations.

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