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Jehovah
An abuse survivor speaks out on the sl guestbook

I was molested my a Jehovah's Witness man and Jehovah did nothing about it.

I cry still every day.  I remember when he molested me he laid on top of me quoting scriptures about how he can get away with it all....and he did...because Jehovah did nothing about it.  The elders threatened my mother with  disfellowshipping if she did not quiet me down.....

I beg Jehovah for justice, but all I get is threats from Jehovah. 

Is there another god out there I can serve?  I don't want Jehovah anymore.  I cannot serve him.  I want to give my whole heart and soul to him, but he does not like women.

Why does he consider me so worthless?  Why does he ignore my prayers?  Why is a deliberate sinner excused?  Do you know what it is like to hear a scripture from the platform and remember that is the same scripture that the molester (that the elders got together and agreed to excuse) used while raping me as a child?  It is frightening.  I try to hold on but I cannot hold on any longer. 

Why does Jehovah appoint ignorant people?  Why don't they really love and help us?  Why doesn't he appoint women if the men obviously can't and are not doing it?  I don't support women being appointed, but the men are doing so horribly is the point I am making.

Does Jehovah care about women at all?

I know he cares about the men that are sinners and molest children.  But, why does he not care about giving justice to those who were wronged?

My entire family, including half of my extended family knows what the elders did.  I pray to Jehovah, "Is no justice the reason they do not serve you?  Why should they?  Will they die at Armegeddon because they know what the elders did and they do not want to hear the truth?  Why is one person's life more important than mine and my entire family's lives?  All I asked for was justice and my family to find out about the justice so that they can say Jehovah is just although the elders are not."  Jehovah did nothing about it and my whole family will die because of a deliberate act by one person.  If my family dies at Armageddon, shouldn't that man die too?

Jehovah is not just.

He is partial.

He hates women.

And I hate him sometimes...only because he does not love me.

If Jehovah gave me justice, I would love him more than anyone imperfect human on this earth.  Because I know that I could be safe with Jehovah, although not around humans.  But I don't know that.  Because Jehovah did nothing about it.

I imagine sometimes that I could call Jehovah "Daddy God". 

Because I have no earthly father to protect me either.  He would be the dearest father to me....my earthly (protective) father and heavenly father too...but I can't see it happening.  There is no protection for a woman in the truth... and they wonder why they want to marry outside the truth.  They do not reject Jehovah, they just don't want the brothers as husbands.

Why do the elders try to make themselves into Jehovah...

I wish Jehovah did care about women and children as much as he does the elders.

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