silentlambs - It's time to protect children. It's time to stop being a silent lamb.
Home Assistance Personal Experiences Education Press Donate/Become a SL Member Sitemap silentlambs Store
 
Search
index

Guestbook

Please sign in or feel free to browse.

Silentlambs Moderator Saturday, August 4, 2007
@ 10:34 AM
To Cheri Romereo :
M.A.N.'s last post was on June 7, 2007 and Maluenda's was on June 5, 2007. These posts give some explanation of why they have not been posting lately. We miss them too, and hope they will be back soon.

Cheri Romereo Saturday, August 4, 2007
@ 7:38 AM
Where are these people?
Can you tell me where my good friend M.A.N. and Maluenda have gotten to? I see that they are not commenting on the forum. I have been a member of Silent Lambs for 4 years now and pop in from time to time and they are always usually here but they aren’t now. Any one know?

Friday, August 3, 2007
@ 5:12 PM
To Louise
I agree on the importance of Jehovah's Witnesses learning to think and feel for themselves, making their own choices and finding their own inner truths. Doing these things can act like a buffer between them and the elders power tripping with them and between those who are shunning them. If they know and believe that the right thing to do is turn in pedophiles to the proper authorities and they do this, then they have an inner strength that is impermeable, that can't be touched, and they won't let the elders and the shunners get them down. They are stalwart and fearless in the face of judicial committees and families and friends who might turn on them. They deserve to be lauded for their courage and their doing the right thing even though their might be very unpleasant consequences for doing so. The elders are not the right people to turn to in the case of pedophilia, anyway. The police are, and so are social services. The more power to these people who are true to themselves and to the right thing to do, no matter what!

Alex Friday, August 3, 2007
@ 9:31 AM
WT publications teach only WT religion.
"Would you welcome a free home Bible study?" Why does the Watchtower Organization LIE? The above was taken off of the 'official' Watchtower site. How do they get away with saying this when you end up doing a study of Watchtower publications (which are not the bible)? Alex

JB Friday, August 3, 2007
@ 9:23 AM
To LJD
The physical abuse that you described sounds horrifying, and I'm sorry you had to endure it. However, it seems you may also be suffering from feelings of guilt for being disfellowshipped, and that's what causes you to think that JW's have a better run organization than that of other religions. No one on this site is touting one religion over another, but to say that JW's are better run is incorrect. Aside from the cover up of physical and sexual abuse of many women and children, it is curious why the elders saw fit to disfellowship you for seeking the love that you never found at home as a child. Did the elders know the abuse that you suffered when disfellowshipping you? If not, why not? Is your father a JW, and if so, does he shun you? Does your father know about the abuse? Whatever the circumstances,the fact that an organization regularly separates people from their families is not an indication that it is well run. No one is arguing that the WTB&TS isn't organized. They are well organized, but the problem is what they accomplish through their organization. In your case, wouldn't it be wonderful if your mother admitted her wrong doing and sought your forgiveness? Wouldn't it be nice for your father to emotionally support you as an adult, since he didn't do so when you were a child? Wouldn't it be better for you and your parents to come to terms with what happened to you as a family? If both of your parents remain JW's, none of this is possible, because the WTB&TS says so. BREAKING UP FAMILIES IS NOT AN INDICATION OF A WELL RUN, LOVING CHRISTIAN ORGANIZATION. I, along with many others on this site wish you well and hope for a day when you and others like us will be able to come to terms with our families about the cruelty and saddness that was forced upon us by those who were supposed to love and protect us.

Jack Thursday, August 2, 2007
@ 10:33 PM


JB Thursday, August 2, 2007
@ 11:44 AM
Socrates
I am so sorry for what happened to you. You were victimized twice; once with the loss of your innocence during the childhood molestation and the second time with your family abandoning you when you spoke out about the abuse as an adult. JW's refuse to acknowledge child sex abuse, because they are directed to do so by the Society. Even the lowest human being abhors it, so to keep the rank and file from fleeing from the organization as they should, JW's are taught to ignore and deny the existence of such sin in their midst unless there are two witnesses to the event. What child molester takes the time to draw a crowd before raping a child? The reason why the elders only need one witness in the case of someone confessing to fornication or adultery is because the control to disfellowship or not to disfellowship is in their hands. In other words, when a child comes forward about sex abuse, the power isn't in the hands of the elders. They would have to disfellowship one who may be among their peer group or a friend. A child will usually tell their parents, where a fornicator or adulterer will only tell the elders. Since there are usually less people in the mix when it comes to adult sexual sin, there is more control for the elders. Also the mere fact that a fornicator or adulterer confesses is a show of strength on the Society's part. The point is, the Society directs the decisions of elders based on control or lack thereof. As far as your family's abandonment of you, I hope someday you may be able to look at it as a blessing, as I have about my family's abandonment of me. I would never want people who gloss over child molestation to be around my step-kids, step-grandchildren or any other youngsters. It is too dangerous to put their welfare in the hands of people who do not recognize the risks of allowing children to be around child molesters.

louise Thursday, August 2, 2007
@ 7:03 AM
socrates
I am sorry for all you have and are going through. I strongly feel that as long as its not on there door step others have a much better understanding of abused children or assaulted adults to. It is normal for a child to not tell. How can they? It disgusts me that you have to be treated this way as an adult too, without any understanding from the people who should. I hope you know that none of this is your fault and even if he was alive that you would probably be treated the exact same way... I was at the time and still am by jws. Thinking of you. Take care.

Maria K Thursday, August 2, 2007
@ 2:52 AM

To Natty: I think what you say is true I was not that active as a witness and i guess that is what saved me and made it a lot easier for me to now live in the "world" I always felt that the elders were not really interested in our problems that’s why I never once bothered them with my "minor" problems... of course you would have to start at the top of the organization to make changes, but i think that is never going to happen, because they would loose their whole POWER. to everybody: I can never understand of course what somebody has to go through if they are abused and loose their whole family because of that I feel really sorry for all of you and all my best to you!

LJD Wednesday, August 1, 2007
@ 11:33 PM
Hi
I'm a 28 yr old man who was abused by my mom. She pulled knives on me, through boiling water on me, and much more. I didn’t let anyone in my life know until I was 19/20 and it really affected my life in a bad way. I didn’t tell the elders cause I didn’t want my mom to get in trouble. I never told my father because that would kill him and I didn’t want to do that. So in the end I had to go out and find the "love that I was missing at home" in the arms of a young girl in college. Ended up getting disfellowshipped & married because I got a girl pregnant by the time I was 20. But no one in the Kingdom Hall knew anything. We were looked to as the model family until the time I turned 18 and I couldn’t keep all the pain bottled inside anymore. But I always think that JWs may not be perfect but no human is perfect. The organization seems to run the best out of many of the other religions that I have seen.

TB Wednesday, August 1, 2007
@ 10:00 PM
Group Management
To Louise and others on the recent thread: As you probably have read in a few of my posts, I'm a current (Reformist) JW. I know exactly how you feel and what you've been through. When bad things (Molestation) happen to you or ones you love in the cong, each and every time it gets covered up by Elders. The only time I have seen when it wasn't was when the Perp was a 'nobody' and only when it was known by practically everybody and even then the CO came and assembled a Spin Team and held Spin Control meetings. On a previous post a while back I elaborated on the Elder's policy of maintaining the 'Credibility of the Body of Elders (BOE)', so as not to "bring the congregation under reproach". They will do this even if it means sacrificing publishers. This is usually pushed hard by the CO's on the local BOE. If the molestation is brought to the attention of your fellow cong members then the Rank and File will talk and dissension will spread. The credibility of the BOE will plummet. The only power the BOE has is what you and others give them. They do not have power rings or have been exposed to gamma rays that give them incredible powers, like Spiderman. The reason I say this is because my heart really goes out to hurting ones (Been down that road) and if folks see the how’s and whys and some of the Group Dynamics they can feel empowered and fight back. Even some of us who stay on the inside can fight and stave off DF'ing. More people need to understand how the Elders employ Group Management in shutting up talk about Molestation. I love this site, please keep up the Good work!

Socrates Wednesday, August 1, 2007
@ 9:35 PM
Maria K
I was molested by a member of the congregation many years ago, and I have come out about it. I am not perusing any action against the man legally, within the congregation, or personally, because the man is dead. But I have made it known to my family. I have done nothing wrong according to God's laws; I did not try to go to the elders or congregation about this person. All I did was speak to my family and make them aware of what happened to me. As a result, they will not speak to me. They will not speak to my wife, or my children. They have referred to me as dead, and called me Satan himself. But I have done nothing. I have not broken any of their policies. You don't have to IMAGINE this because this is what happened and happens all the time. Why is it, that by merely bringing up the discussion of child molestation, such resentment is displayed, with so few words being spoken? Hasn’t God instructed us that sex is only to be experienced between an adult, consenting, married couple? Therefore, sex between an adult and a child is against God’s law. If a publisher comes forward and confesses having committed fornication, immorality, or adultery with another publisher, the elders will disfellowship the one that did not confess. They don’t need two witnesses for that, so why do they need two witnesses for a child being molested? The Society is condoning the breaking of God’s law by it’s adherence to the two witness rule in regards to child molestation.

louise Wednesday, August 1, 2007
@ 10:03 AM
maria k
Natty, your explanation was clear and concise, however I would like to add a few points. Maria K., in an indirect way, there is a hint of blaming the victims. That gets under my skin, because that is exactly what the WTB&TS does. Of course, adults are responsible for their own lives and those of their children. However, if the Society did not use the mind control tactics that they do, people wouldn't be suffering as they have, are and will as long as they're involved with the organization. Do you have any idea what it is like to be completely alienated from your family? Can you imagine not being able to pick up the phone and give your mom a call? Have you ever ached to simply catch a glimpse of your dear baby brother? Have you gone for decades without any contact with your parents and siblings? Have you been shunned by your own children? From the brief history you gave of your life, I would assume NOT. Now, picture yourself in an abusive relationship with a JW man, stepfather, elder, husband etc. Tell me how quickly you would speak out or leave when you knew without a doubt, that all of the people around you who you love, would act as if you had died. Just for a moment, imagine what it would be like to be publicly labeled a sinner for simply saving your own life and sanity. This is what happens to JW's who want out of an abusive situation. In order to keep the rank and file in line, the Society will sacrifice the victim who finally finds their way out. Do I feel embarrassed that it took me years to get out? YES! Do I miss my friends and family? YES! Do I regret getting out in spite of my losses? NO! Would I ever blame a victim for abuse they have suffered? NO! I hope any JW who grieves over abuse or the loss of a friend or relative gets out and stops being controlled by a corrupt corporation. But the key to ending such mind control tactics is to start at the top with the organization itself. Exposing the Society for what it is, is the only way to stop the abuse of women and children as well as the destruction of families. Hopefully, the lawsuits and people speaking out will accomplish that. But in the meantime, there are many who have and will continue to suffer the effects of abuse and the resulting disfellowshipping for speaking out. They need to be supported. Blaming them for their own suffering is NOT A GOOD WAY TO START.

JB Wednesday, August 1, 2007
@ 9:23 AM
To Natty & Maria K
Natty, your explanation was clear and concise, however I would like to add a few points. Maria K., in an indirect way, there is a hint of blaming the victims. That gets under my skin, because that is exactly what the WTB&TS does. Of course, adults are responsible for their own lives and those of their children. However, if the Society did not use the mind control tactics that they do, people wouldn't be suffering as they have, are and will as long as they're involved with the organization. Do you have any idea what it is like to be completely alienated from your family? Can you imagine not being able to pick up the phone and give your mom a call? Have you ever ached to simply catch a glimpse of your dear baby brother? Have you gone for decades without any contact with your parents and siblings? Have you been shunned by your own children? From the brief history you gave of your life, I would assume NOT. Now, picture yourself in an abusive relationship with a JW man, stepfather, elder, husband etc. Tell me how quickly you would speak out or leave when you knew without a doubt, that all of the people around you who you love, would act as if you had died. Just for a moment, imagine what it would be like to be publicly labeled a sinner for simply saving your own life and sanity. This is what happens to JW's who want out of an abusive situation. In order to keep the rank and file in line, the Society will sacrifice the victim who finally finds their way out. Do I feel embarrassed that it took me years to get out? YES! Do I miss my friends and family? YES! Do I regret getting out in spite of my losses? NO! Would I ever blame a victim for abuse they have suffered? NO! I hope any JW who grieves over abuse or the loss of a friend or relative gets out and stops being controlled by a corrupt corporation. But the key to ending such mind control tactics is to start at the top with the organization itself. Exposing the Society for what it is, is the only way to stop the abuse of women and children as well as the destruction of families. Hopefully, the lawsuits and people speaking out will accomplish that. But in the meantime, there are many who have and will continue to suffer the effects of abuse and the resulting disfellowshipping for speaking out. They need to be supported. Blaming them for their own suffering is NOT A GOOD WAY TO START.

louise Wednesday, August 1, 2007
@ 8:29 AM
natty
Hi I just read your comment. That is true about thinking for themselves I still have a real problem choosing what I would actually like its almost as if I don’t matter, but I was taught to be humble and lower than everyone else as are many other witnesses. When abused again it is confirmed that we have no rights at all even when saying no it makes no diffrence. I think also it gets tied up in sins immorality etc. I did have a witness but it didn’t make a diffrence to the way I was treated. He didn’t get disfellowshipped instead encouraged! While I and others were shunned. I think it’s important to learn to think and feel for ourselves and make our own choices in life find our own inner truth too. Take care

Natty Wednesday, August 1, 2007
@ 6:50 AM
Maria K
I do feel that you are very sincere in your posts. And I do think that you are right about ADULTS being responsible for their actions. But I would like for you to keep in mind that, apparently you or your family were not what Witnesses would think of as a very Spiritual Family. The problem with most Witnesses is that they are taught not to trust their feelings and to allow the GB or Elder Body to make decisions on what is good or bad. They forget how to think for themselves. That is the basis of the 2 witness rule. Since your family was more on the outskirts of the organization, so to speak, you probably had more contact with the ‘World’, especially since you have been inactive for some time. This usually allows individuals to begin to think and use their own ‘common sense’ and realize that they do have choices. For most Witnesses, their only choice is to shut up or loose everyone around them, be thrown out to the blood thirsty wolves of the ‘world’, and be condemned to eternal death. Imagine being a child with this view, feeling as though you don’t even have real parents anymore. Yes, that child’s parents bare a responsibility; I agree with you on that, unfortunately that’s not what happens because of the 2 witness rule and their allowing others to make these types of decisions for them in the org. This website and the many many cases documented on it are proof of that. We are not saying that abuse does not happen outside the org., we are only advocating for what we know and have experienced. Just like those in the world that have taken a stand against abuse in the Catholic, Mormon, etc. We fight against abuse in general but the 2 Witness policy among JW is our point of focus, not only because it is what harmed us but because it is an absurd policy that allows pedophiles to get away with it within the religion and from legal authorities. I hope you continue to visit the site.

Maria K Wednesday, August 1, 2007
@ 6:08 AM
to JB
Thanks for your answer and I feel really very very sorry for what you had to go through! I am an inactive witness since many years and i grew up in the truth, I have loving and caring parents who never beat me once, they were not those picture perfect witnesses maybe that’s the reason why, but the best parents in the world, so I guess I can never know what’s it like if you are abused....it must destroy your whole world. I think in all your life you must use common sense and trust your feelings, if you know that a situation is bad you have to try to get out of it and don’t let other people make decisions for you. Of course that could be almost impossible if you are abused and your family doesn’t believe you, I think its a general problem, i have many friends who are not JW and who have been abused and had nowhere to turn to... of course this different view of the world you live in as a JW makes it harder to get out of the situation..... don’t get me wrong but in the end everybody who is an adult is responsible for his own life! everybody has choices!

louise Tuesday, July 31, 2007
@ 1:10 PM
thank you
just want to say thank you I can feel your support! take care warm love to silentlambs.

JB Tuesday, July 31, 2007
@ 12:19 PM
To Maria K
I understand you completely, and my answer to you is that either you are a JW who has never experienced abuse or you have never been a JW. I was an abused child and a battered wife, so I speak from experience. Once you become a JW, you are not supposed to have close relationships with those who are not. Therefore, people who are closest to you will not support you when trying to get out of an abusive situation. When I was a child, my mother did nothing about her husband's attempted sexual abuse of me and verbal and emotional abuse of my brother, and when I was an adult, my mother allowed me to stay with her to escape my abusive husband only after I got permission from the elders for a temporary stay. As an abused JW, you have NOWHERE TO GO AND NO ONE TO TURN TO in your own circle. The WTB&TS constantly berates their followers with warnings about worldly people. When I finally left this filthy organization, I was scared to death! I left, because I was convinced by doctors and judges that my husband was a dangerous man who would eventually kill me. So, I thought the everlasting death that was promised by the Society was better than the slow death I was suffering. It took me years to assign the blame for the abuse onto the ones who were guilty of it and off of myself. It took years to trust worldly people. And this suffering was for what? Their greed will stop at nothing, which includes hypocrisy, illogical thinking and unfortunately cover up of physical and sexual abuse of women and children. I have been informed that a talk was given at a recent assembly that asked for monetary donations without question as to where the money was being spent. When told about the settlement of 16 lawsuits with gag orders, JW's do not believe it. They choose to close their eyes to reality. If they wish to continue to be controlled by the WTB&TS, that is their choice. But to say that the Society should not be blamed for the abuse suffered by me and many others, is untrue, unfair and quite frankly, disgusting.

Maria K Tuesday, July 31, 2007
@ 3:02 AM
My Opinion
I feel really very very sorry for everybody who had to go through abusive situations and who had their lives ruined by that, maybe in that situation especially if you are young and don’t have any supporters you don’t know what to do...but I think you cant blame the WT society all the times. I you are abused everybody - if JW or not -has the right to go to the police or talk to other authorities and I would never ever if this happened let myself or my children forbid or be advised by elders not to do that ! I think if that happened to my children I would always listen and believe them and not let them speak about it in a hearing with three older men and the I feel really very very sorry for everybody who had to go through abusive situations and who had their lives ruined by that, maybe in that situation especially if you are young and don’t have any supporters you don’t know what to do...but I think you cant blame the WT society all the times. I you are abused everybody - if JW or not -has the right to go to the police or talk to other authorities and I would never ever if this happened let myself or my children forbid or be advised by elders not to do that ! I think if that happened to my children I would always listen and believe them and not let them speak about it in a hearing with three older men and the persecutor. Even if that’s according to WT standard!! Anybody should be able to tell that that is a horrible situation for a victim! What I am trying to say, you can not always blame the circumstances for the situation you are in! If you are suffering from a husband who beats you, leave him! and don’t care about what the elders might say! Of course if you are a child and nobody believes you that’s a different situation, but then the parents are responsible and to blame to listen to the society or the elders and not listening to their conscience or intelligence on how to handle this. I hope somebody understands me!..even if that’s according to WT standard!! Anybody should be able to tell that that is a horrible situation for a victim! What I am trying to say, you can not always blame the circumstances for the situation you are in! If you are suffering from a husband who beats you, leave him! and don’t care about what the elders might say! Of course if you are a child and nobody believes you that’s a different situation, but then the parents are responsible and to blame to listen to the society or the elders and not listening to their conscience or intelligence on how to handle this. I hope somebody understands me!

Silentlambs Monday, July 30, 2007
@ 9:39 PM
Help for UK Victim
Silentlambs has a recent victim of sexual assault in Wiltshire, UK (England) that needs some support. If anyone is in that area that you know of, please communicate with us so that we will be able to give them more information, and we can send them to visit her in the hospital. Contact us at info@silentlambs.org

Earl Monday, July 30, 2007
@ 9:15 PM
Kathy
You are correct in your assessment. They use some old scriptures but they will be the first to tell you that we are no longer under the old rules. I have studied these and other scriptures and they have taken them out of context, anyone can see that except them. So what are we to make of such usage of scripture for their- the WT's benefit and not for the betterment of all? Can they be so blind as to allow such abuse and to protect such sick behavior. I have pondered this long and hard and still I have no answer that would make any sense. Regardless of what they believe surely they are seeing the consequences of their policy.Thanks to Silent Lambs and all that support them the word is getting out, the truth is getting told. Blessings

Monday, July 30, 2007
@ 5:55 PM
To Louise
Yes, Louise, as others are telling you, we are with you in spirit, though we can't be with you in the courtroom. Hang in there, and hang tough!!

louise Monday, July 30, 2007
@ 6:30 AM
To Earl
Thank you! Would be grate big group of us! I asked for an open court so anyone could walk in! He was on edge as he didn't know who was coming in! Neither did I but I had nothing to hide! I am amazed at how much has gotten around the organization, through them. At least it has raised awareness although I don't know what they are saying-his crew will be lies. But a lot know the truth. I just hope they all pay for there crimes not only against me and God but now also the law! Its like pinks song 'they'll get theres'! Take care:)

Jamie J Monday, July 30, 2007
@ 6:27 AM
louise
We are all behind you. Even though we may not be able to be there physically, we are there with you in spirit.

Please Sign Our Guest Book [Previous 25 Guests]  [Next 25 Guests]

 

Prior Guestbooks

 

2006

January-December

2005

January-December

2004

January-December

 

2003

January February
March April
May June
July-December  
   
   

2002

January February
March April
May June
July August
September October
November December

2001

January February
March April
May June
July August
September October
November December

 

Home | Assistance | Personal Experiences | Education | Press | Donations/Membership | Merchandise
Guestbook | Courage Awards | Newsletter | Contact Us | Affiliates | Sitemap
Copyright © 2003 by silentlambs.org. All rights reserved.