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March 2003 Guestbook

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Sent: Saturday, March 01, 2003 9:56 AM

Subject: Molestation

I was so happy to find this website. I am now 56 years old and have lived through hell. I was sexually molested by my stepfather when I was very young. I was brought up a JW and he was supposedly an upstanding minister in this religion. Until I was out of the house, I kept this very dark secret. No one was told. Through the years I kept this secret and had a horrible life because of it. About 15 years ago I finally "told" what had happened to me. The elders of this organization were told about this man and did NOTHING! NOTHING was done to this pedophile who professed to be a father and minister!!! I am still on medication for depression because of all the years, 10 years old until I was 18!!!!!!!!!, of molestation by this monster. He is still a JW!!! Good grief, my life has been pure hell and that man still goes on with life.

Of course as a teen I did many things I am ashamed of, but when you are molested at a young age and don't tell anyone because you are so scared, you do things because your mind has blocked out abuse. I have never been able to have a happy relationship with anyone because of the terrible nightmare of my young growing up years. This nightmare cannot be erased. I still wake up in the night so petrified and the nightmares will never end.

When I see a JW come to my door, the anger is so real. I cannot talk to them and I know it is not them but him. But I can't face them as they did not punish him for what he did to me. Some of you can't understand this, but most of you silent lambs can. I hope that any of you young people out there who are being molested or abused will step forward and fight so that you can have a happy life, not like mine-terror, pain, nightmares, depression, anger, insomnia, physical illness, mood swings and the list goes on and on, all because of one horrible man. I will think of all of you and hope that you will not be a silent lamb but an outspoken lion!

Sent: Sunday, March 02, 2003 6:01 PM

Subject: Molestation

Hello, you have come to the right place to tell about your personal experience - - many, many people here can relate to your pain and trauma. People do understand here, so please keep coming back! I hope the support and compassion you receive here will help you with your healing. It took courage and strength to tell the elders what happened to you at the hands of your stepfather! Keep speaking up. Maybe you could even take this information about your abuse to someone in the legal field. Of course, that would be something to check out with Bill Bowen, as he is the one who is dealing with the pedophilia situation. I hope, though, that there are some options available for you, so that something can and will be done about the person who basically ruined your life. Please hang in there, and the more power to all of you victims and to Bill Bowen, who has such courage to give so much of his time and energy to this issue. You all have courage. It can't be an easy thing to do, to face elders and others and put yourselves on the line, hoping they will listen, believe you, and give you all the support and encouragement you all need so much. Never give up. You are all doing the right thing. Believe in yourselves, all of you, and take good care.

Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2003 12:46 PM

Subject: Guestbook entry

I am a former JW. I was born and raised in the congregation and many, many of my family members continue to be actively involved with the Witnesses. I have never been able to have a meaningful relationship in my life and have always felt isolated, alone, and shameful. I was abused, both sexually and emotionally, for many years, and though my parents were aware of the abuse, they did nothing for fear of reprisal from the WT. The anger that I carry and sense of betrayal is enormous. When I bring up the abuse that takes place in the Kingdom Hall with family members, their answers are all the same, as though the Watchtower has told them exactly how to respond to such questions: "Yes, I heard of such stories, but they are not true. The Watchtower does not condone abuse and will actively investigate and see to the prosecution of anyone who abuses a child. " I now realize that these members no longer have the ability to think for themselves and must look to the WT to be told what to think and what to believe. Maybe someday I will be able to tell my story, not yet, but maybe someday. Thank you for giving us a forum for our thoughts and feelings.

Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2003 11:11 PM

Subject: Molestation

I am glad you found this site. It was a very healing thing for me to find out I wasn't alone. I have read around this board when I first started coming here, and it was very healing for me. I don't know if it would be for you, but just know you are very brave for going to the elders. They don't make it easy, and they aren't very kind when you do.

Just know this, to do things in your childhood that you regret is just a way of acting out. I have been to therapy because of my molesting uncle. I hope you find a source to get things out, it helps. I hope you find this a good place to talk and share as well. I will be looking in to see if you are ok.

Love,

Jesika Thoman, Dallas-Tx

Sent: Wednesday, March 05, 2003 6:14 PM

Subject: Molestation

I too was raised a JW and I was molested by my father from the time I was 4 to about 9 years old. Sadly, I never told anyone until I was 23 year old. I was in active in the organization at the time but I went to the elders for help. I was an emotional mess. I went to my sister and told her my dark secret and she directed me to the Elders. The elders treated me with kindness and showed mercy on my soul. I was not DF'd only privately reproved for my immoral behavior. I was involved with a couple of worldly boys and I confessed all. What upset me was the fact that they made it very clear to my father that he was not being DF'd for molesting me but it was for his excessive drinking. My father is an alcoholic and has been one ever since I can remember. I tried to continue going to meetings but the thought that it is okay for a person to molest children but it is not okay for them to get drunk at home every night. The excuse for! not DF'ng him for molestation was that it was so long ago. What is that! Craziness! My father even admitted it to the Elders! And still they did nothing on that matter!

I am so glad people are speaking out. There is so much abuse that happens to children every day and the JW organization is clearly not free of it. Keep up your good work! I believe in my heart you truly are pleasing our creator (if there is one. . . . . I struggle with doubts) by protecting innocent children and helping victims that are now adults to heal there minds and hearts.

Love,

melancholyblue

Sent: Thursday, March 06, 2003 5:09 PM

Subject: the mole

the mole. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and elder has stepped down in Sacramento. . . . not anything new but here is the situation. . . the elder in our local area was caught trying to date a young sister, when found out by the young girls friends many began to ask what was going on. . the elder had lied and said it was only friendship. . after these last two weeks of rumors floating around it came to my attention that he was sleeping with the young girl aged 17. . this brother is 34 years old and just separated with his wife. . the girl and this brother had been seeing each other almost two years and none of us knew of it. . . I the mole inquired if this man was to be jailed for statutory rape or fined being that she was under age. . the parents where told it is a judicial matter for the congregation alone and not a police matter. . . here is another example of the kingdom halls taking civil issues into their own hand. . . the brothers are trying to cover it up by giving talks in their hall about gossip. . . all of you who come to this site should know there are many forms of abuse especially those who take the lead in the church and use that power to sway young minds. . . . ***the mole***

Sent: Saturday, March 08, 2003 2:30 AM

Subject: Send from Denmark

I have been reading this site since 21 December 2001. The site is a healing place.

My wife has been raped by her father from 4 years and to her 12 year, It ended with she got pregnant, and her father killed the little girl when it was born. The raping my wife has repressed, and so have our son, my wife sister and her daughter, The elder try to frighten us from going to the police, the P. O. said, well I don't think you wanna go to the police because if you do the reports will come like a swarm. My wife did called the police, and they spend a half year, but couldn't find the baby, they dug on the farm 30 men in 3 days, and on a church yard, but they couldn't find the body. And the incest was to old by law. Then the elders look on the matter, and they say that my wife's father is an innocent man and that he is fine man. And that my wife and sister are liars.

HT

Sent: Friday, February 28, 2003 10:48 PM

Subject:

This site is amazingly tasteful. I have been out of the organization for 5 or 6 years now and I despise the mud slinging, vindictive and woe is me that dominates most sites. You stick to the point and focus on the topic relevant to your cause. I refuse to exchange one form of fanaticism for another. I admire your ability to do the same. You are better at it than I would be. Thank-you for providing this site for people without fanning the flames of their already scorching pain. I was abused as a witness too. I never looked up any sites because I was afraid of the melodrama. Too bad I didn't know about this one. TS

 

Hans Tuesday, March 18, 2003
@ 10:10 AM
The new look
I have just seen the new look on the site, and I think its great. Nordic.

silentlambs Tuesday, March 18, 2003
@ 8:03 PM
guestbook fixed
We have had some problems with the guestbook since opening the new website and it has been repaired. If you posted any information since last Thursday it was lost. If you repost we will be glad to put it up. Thank you for your patience as we get the bugs worked out of the new site. silentlambs

Will Tuesday, March 18, 2003
@ 8:08 PM

i studied with the JWs"s for 7 months. 7 months isn't a very long time but it was longing enough for me to be contemplating suicide. i fell in love with a JW woman and and for a year i was kept a secret from the the brothers and sisters of her fellowship. it made me fell like the smallest person on earth. i kept asking myself how can this be showing gods love? i would ask my girlfriend questions that she could not answer. and the only way to get answers is to go and study so i could better understand. so that's what i did. i believe i was manipulated and lied to. nothing made sense. i would ask questions about certain beliefs and i was talked in circles until i was speechless. i was told just hand in there it will make sense, " its like a puzzle, you finish the outside then fill it in from there". the jws were giving me no foundation to there beliefs. i kept studying and going to the kingdom hall because i was deeply in love with my JW girlfriend. i believe that she too was molested as a child and is still keeping all that pain inside. Jesus Christ is the Light of the world unfortunately the JWs beliefs have taken the light of the world and made it somewhat dark. i will pray for all the people who have been abused sexually, emotionally, spiritually and mentally.

Lee Tuesday, March 18, 2003
@ 8:12 PM
molestation
I was so happy to find this website. I am now 56 years old and have lived through hell. I was sexually molested by my stepfather when I was very young. I was brought up a JW and he was supposedly an upstanding minister in this religion. Until I was out of the house, I kept this very dark secret. No one was told. Through the years I kept this secret and had a horrible life because of it. About 15 years ago I finally "told" what had happened to me. The elders of this organization were told about this man and did NOTHING! NOTHING was done to this pedophile who professed to be a father and minister!!! I am still on medication for depression because of all the years, 10 years old until I was 18!!!!!!!!!, of molestation by this monster. He is still a JW!!! Good grief, my life has been pure hell and that man still goes on with life. Of course as a teen I did many things I am ashamed of, but when you are molested at a young age and don't tell anyone because you are so scared, you do things because your mind has blocked out abuse. I have never been able to have a happy relationship with anyone because of the terrible nightmare of my young growing up years. This nightmare cannot be erased. I still wake up in the night so petrified and the nightmares will never end. When I see a JW come to my door, the anger is so real. I cannot talk to them and I know it is not them but him. But I can't face them as they did not punish him for what he did to me. Some of you can't understand this, but most of you silent lambs can. I hope that any of you young people out there who are being molested or abused will step forward and fight so that you can have a happy life, not like mine-terror, pain, nightmares, depression, anger, insomnia, physical illness, mood swings and the list goes on and on, all because of one horrible man. I will think of all of you and hope that you will not be a silent lamb but an outspoken lion!

Carl Tuesday, March 18, 2003
@ 8:14 PM
molestation
Hello, you have come to the right place to tell about your personal experience - - many, many people here can relate to your pain and trauma. People do understand here, so please keep coming back! I hope the support and compassion you receive here will help you with your healing. It took courage and strength to tell the elders what happened to you at the hands of your stepfather! Keep speaking up. Maybe you could even take this information about your abuse to someone in the legal field. Of course, that would be something to check out with Bill Bowen, as he is the one who is dealing with the pedophilia situation. I hope, though, that there are some options available for you, so that something can and will be done about the person who basically ruined your life. Please hang in there, and the more power to all of you victims and to Bill Bowen, who has such courage to give so much of his time and energy to this issue. You all have courage. It can't be an easy thing to do, to face elders and others and put yourselves on the line, hoping they will listen, believe you, and give you all the support and encouragement you all need so much. Never give up. You are all doing the right thing. Believe in yourselves, all of you, and take good care.

JM Tuesday, March 18, 2003
@ 8:16 PM
Guestbook entry
I am a former JW. I was born and raised in the congregation and many, many of my family members continue to be actively involved with the Witnesses. I have never been able to have a meaningful relationship in my life and have always felt isolated, alone, and shameful. I was abused, both sexually and emotionally, for many years, and though my parents were aware of the abuse, they did nothing for fear of reprisal from the WT. The anger that I carry and sense of betrayal is enormous. When I bring up the abuse that takes place in the Kingdom Hall with family members, their answers are all the same, as though the Watchtower has told them exactly how to respond to such questions: "Yes, I heard of such stories, but they are not true. The Watchtower does not condone abuse and will actively investigate and see to the prosecution of anyone who abuses a child. " I now realize that these members no longer have the ability to think for themselves and must look to the WT to be told what to think and what to believe. Maybe someday I will be able to tell my story, not yet, but maybe someday. Thank you for giving us a forum for our thoughts and feelings.

JT Tuesday, March 18, 2003
@ 8:17 PM
Molestation
I am glad you found this site. It was a very healing thing for me to find out I wasn't alone. I have read around this board when I first started coming here, and it was very healing for me. I don't know if it would be for you, but just know you are very brave for going to the elders. They don't make it easy, and they aren't very kind when you do. Just know this, to do things in your childhood that you regret is just a way of acting out. I have been to therapy because of my molesting uncle. I hope you find a source to get things out, it helps. I hope you find this a good place to talk and share as well. I will be looking in to see if you are ok. Love, Jesika

Melancholyblue Tuesday, March 18, 2003
@ 8:19 PM
molestation
I too was raised a JW and I was molested by my father from the time I was 4 to about 9 years old. Sadly, I never told anyone until I was 23 year old. I was in active in the organization at the time but I went to the elders for help. I was an emotional mess. I went to my sister and told her my dark secret and she directed me to the Elders. The elders treated me with kindness and showed mercy on my soul. I was not DF'd only privately reproved for my immoral behavior. I was involved with a couple of worldly boys and I confessed all. What upset me was the fact that they made it very clear to my father that he was not being DF'd for molesting me but it was for his excessive drinking. My father is an alcoholic and has been one ever since I can remember. I tried to continue going to meetings but the thought that it is okay for a person to molest children but it is not okay for them to get drunk at home every night. The excuse for! not DF'ng him for molestation was that it was so long ago. What is that! Craziness! My father even admitted it to the Elders! And still they did nothing on that matter! I am so glad people are speaking out. There is so much abuse that happens to children every day and the JW organization is clearly not free of it. Keep up your good work! I believe in my heart you truly are pleasing our creator (if there is one. . . . . I struggle with doubts) by protecting innocent children and helping victims that are now adults to heal there minds and hearts. Love, melancholyblue

the mole Tuesday, March 18, 2003
@ 8:20 PM
the mole
the mole. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and elder has stepped down in sacramento. . . . not anything new but here is the situation. . . the elder in our local area was caught trying to date a young sister, when found out by the young girls friends many began to ask what was going on. . the elder had lied and said it was only friendship. . after these last two weeks of rumors floating around it came to my attention that he was sleeping with the young girl aged 17. . this brother is 34 years old and just separated with his wife. . the girl and this brother had been seeing each other almost two years and none of us knew of it. . . I the mole inquired if this man was to be jailed for statutory rape or fined being that she was under age. . the parents where told it is a judicial matter for the congregation alone and not a police matter. . . here is another example of the kingdom halls taking civil issues into their own hand. . . the brothers are trying to cover it up by giving talks in their hall about gossip. . . all of you who come to this site should know there are many forms of abuse especially those who take the lead in the church and use that power to sway young minds. . . . ***the mole***

Hans Tuesday, March 18, 2003
@ 8:21 PM
Molestation
I have been reading this site since 21 December 2001. The site is a healing place. My wife has been raped by her father from 4 years and to her 12 year, It ended with she got pregnant, and her father killed the little girl when it was born. The raping my wife has repressed, and so have our son, my wife sister and her daughter, The elder try to frighten us from going to the police, the po said, well i don't think you want to go to the police because if you do the reporters will come like a swarm. My wife did called the police, and they spend a half year, but couldn't find the baby, they dig on the farm 30 men i 3 days, and on a church yard, but they couldn't find the body. And the incest was to old by law. Then the elders look on the matter, and they say that my wife's father is an innocent man and that he is fine man. And that my wife and sister are liars.

Tabithah Tuesday, March 18, 2003
@ 8:22 PM
Your website
This site is amazingly tasteful. I have been out of the organization for 5 or 6 years now and I despise the mud slinging, vindictive and woe is me that dominates most sites. You stick to the point and focus on the topic relevant to your cause. I refuse to exchange one form of fanaticism for another. I admire your ability to do the same. You are better at it than I would be. Thank-you for providing this site for people without fanning the flames of their already scorching pain. I was abused as a witness too. I never looked up any sites because I was afraid of the melodrama. Too bad I didn't know about this one. Tabithah

Tuesday, March 18, 2003
@ 8:23 PM
Just signing the guestbook
Susan K. Weidenbach

Cheri Tuesday, March 18, 2003
@ 8:24 PM
Your website
Thank you so much for this site. There are so many cases of abuse in my extended family. My niece was treated the same way by elders of a Toledo Oregon Congregation and a lot of the young people here. It was just heinous. My sisters are mentally ill due to the molestation and rape of their young bodies at the tender ages of 4 and 5. Another niece was molested in West Virginia by a Presiding Overseer. Please tell me what I can do to help you. Thank you, Cheri

Tuesday, March 18, 2003
@ 8:25 PM
Your efforts
I am the Domestic Violence and Disabilities Educator for Pierce County Washington, and I think your website is a real step in the right direction of mutual support, self- advocacy, and life change for those who have been victims of sexual abuse. I have personally been a victim of sexual abuse. You may be interested to know that statistics show that between 75 and 99% of individuals with disabilities have experienced sexual abuse in their lives. I had the benefit of three years in a self-help facilitated support group which was part of the program of the Sexual Assault Center of Pierce County. There, I was able to work through the emotions which stopped me from experiencing normal sexuality. I admire self-help organizations. My other had is as Program Manager of the Mental Health Resource Center of the Tacoma Area Coalition of Individuals with Disabilities. We do not address sexual abuse directly because no one on our staff is certified as a therapist or facilitator in this area. However, we do address this problem in our Bipolar Support Groups, our Hope for Depression Group, our Anxiety Support Group, and our Schizophrenia Support Group. It has been my experience with Jehovah's Witnesses that many JW's are people who live with disabilities of one sort or another. I applaud your efforts.

Carl Tuesday, March 18, 2003
@ 8:40 PM

I agree about some of the former Witness sites seeming melodramatic. I think that just works against us. It's easy to understand the feelings, but depending on how they are expressed, they can either help or hinder the purpose of these sites. Coming across like some tabloid magazine will only make former Witnesses sound bitter and vengeful, which will defeat what these sites are all about, supporting other ex-Witnesses and assisting current Jehovah's Witnesses, who are floundering and drifting. Keeping the sites more low key, yet straightforward seems far more effective than the sites that excite a sort of 'mob mentality'. They are more of a "turn off" in the long run. Anyway, that's my two cents worth. I think this is a tasteful site, too.

SLC Tuesday, March 18, 2003
@ 11:54 PM
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
. . . to silentlambs & org on this new great website! It has a nice clean layout, easy to navigate, well organized, good looking and functional, too! not to mention all the informative/educational info contained on the many pages! Keep up the good work! And greetings to all the former lambs, the current lambs and all the future lambs who will visit here in the future. Everyone take care and see ya 'round the lamb-fests, the lamb-marches, etc. ! /SLC

MPH Wednesday, March 19, 2003
@ 8:28 AM
Congratulations!
Congratulations on the new site!

tk Wednesday, March 19, 2003
@ 12:43 PM
Thanks to all
The New Silentlambs site is gorgeous! Sooooo much easier for me. . . . but I'm computer challenged. I'm also a victim of decades of violent child abuse - my father & his friends. I became a JW and made friends with a Ministerial Servant with 5 kids & good wife. I did check out their family before allowing my child to visit at their house. We had known them for a while. I was a mother of 3 kids with df'd husband - I wanted "good christian" association for my kids. My child went to their house and was sexually abused by this Ministerial Servant. Years later, my child told me. I called the elders (I had moved from that state) - they told me that the elders were trying to meet with this man because his own daughter had just written them details of years of rape by her father. I called back within a month to PO. He said they never talked with the brother. Why? The WT Society said "drop it. " They did. My child never saw the man rape his daughter - nor did his daughter claim to see him molest my child. Thus, no "two witnesses to the same act" - which was WT Law at that time. Maria, his daughter, as of 10 yrs. ago. , had been df'd two times. My child once. The rapist/molester of these children had complete freedom within the KH to hurt other kids. He finally died. . . . . still "in good standing. " I reported him to the police - if nothing else, please report all abuse even if not proven. A "paper trail" is started with a name. Perhaps some other parent/child will do the same - and the trail gets easier to follow. Best wishes to all fellow victims/survivors.

waiting (forum name) Wednesday, March 19, 2003
@ 1:08 PM
Great site
Been looking through this new site - awesome! I'm not good with a computer. . . . . . . and this is so much easier to maneuver around through. Thanks! Will be back. . . . . . . . . . . . . . waiting

CP Wednesday, March 19, 2003
@ 4:51 PM
Ted Jaracz - Why His Silence?
Why doesn't he answer Pat Garza's public statement to the press that he (the Worldwide Governing Body member nicknamed "the Boss" at Brooklyn Bethel) molested her and others when he was District Overseer of Jehovah's Witnesses in Los Angeles? If it's false he should say so. If true then it's no wonder he is such a coward. The Watchtower Society should remove him instead of letting him stay on and direct local elders fire at those who speak out again the cover ups of pedophilia, the liaison with the U. N. while it was and is preached against, and the like!

CP Wednesday, March 19, 2003
@ 4:54 PM
Add This
Let me add this. I think you should ask those who want to help to give you addresses of those who are still JWs, and then Silentlambs can send them an informative letter, encouraging them in turn to also report abuses.

smokeybear from Louisiana Wednesday, March 19, 2003
@ 8:47 PM
First time visit
I enjoyed the website, and there is information to learn from this site. I just wanted to know why doesn't the witnesses have a T. v program for themselves, like others. Jehovah said at the end of time that the world would know his name. People in this world needs to know more facts and information on the witnesses, and I think this would be a great opportunity to have people view the real views on what the witnesses believe in and why by the way of proof in the bible. Anyone who can answer this information please feel free to give me answers and can be forwarded to smokeybear49@juno. com. I am proud to be a witness and I want the World to know that we are the true religion and what we speak about is all facts.

Claudine Thursday, March 20, 2003
@ 10:52 AM
Great Looking Web Site
Wow! What a surprise! The website looks very very nice. Great image, extremely professional looking. Beautiful! Got myself exhausted, so I have had to go into hiding, doing as little as possible. I hope everyone is well and hanging in there. I am going to go and take a look around now. . . see you later. Love, Claudine

Charles Thursday, March 20, 2003
@ 10:58 AM
Washington State Laws
Would like everyone to know that, a mandatory reporting law is in the works in Washington State, it has passed the House, and is now going to the Senate, where it is expected to pass. The only drawback is that, they don't have to report a confession, hopefully we can get that hole patched. Also as a side note, last June, 2002, another law took affect, that is, it is now a misdemeanor to leave a child in the care of a known sex offender. So I'm wondering if an Elder, or Elders knew a man had been convicted in they're congregation, and they failed to tell anyone, and they knew a child was being taken care of by this person, if they would be in violation of this law. Guess this would be a question for Kim. :) - Charlie

Dawn Thursday, March 20, 2003
@ 4:27 PM

Jehovah's Witnesses are morally upstanding people!!!
I am totally disgusted by this website and all its false information. I am a female 30 yr disfellowshipped JW. I was born and raised as a JW in Massachusetts. I have NOTHING but good things to say about my upbringing as a JW and the people I grew up with. There is No WAY any such behavior would be tolerated by the JW's. Anyone who would do such a thing would be ex communicated or "Disfellowshipped" from the congregation immediately. JW's don't even believe in sex before marriage let alone sex with a minor or any kind of abuse to anyone!!! They are kind people with the HIGHEST of morals of anyone you may encounter. I was 15 when I took it upon myself to have sex with my boyfriend (who was 17 and NOT a JW but a boy I met in school). I hid this relationship from everyone and then finally admitted it to my mother and then to the elders of the congregation. At the time I did not see the importance abstaining from premarital sex and just wanted to "fit in" with all my friends at school. JW's did nothing but try to help me and guide me morally in the right direction. I was rebellious at the time and wanted to stay with my bf (which the relationship only lasted 6 months after). I told the elders of the congregation that I was NOT sorry for my actions and that I wanted to keep seeing my bf. They gave me the option of repenting, leaving my bf, and staying a JW or not repenting and being ex-communicated from the congregation (disfellowshipped). I chose to leave and be disfellowshipped. The only JWs that were still allowed to associate with me was my family but of course. My mother is STILL a JW and I have a wonderful relationship with her to this day. I totally respect the JW's and their strict beliefs and morals. They are kind, upstanding, wonderful people with high morals and giving hearts. They would NOT tolerate any such behavior as child abuse of any kind. I find these accusations against JWs absurd and sickening. After personally speaking to William Bowen I am even more disgusted by his views with me on the phone. I found myself stooping to his level by the end of the conversation with my own words and was beginning to make myself look as bad as him. I decided to end the conversation before I said anything I regretted and tried to regain my dignity. The point being here is that YES, there are some BAD people in this world. And I can't say that the JW religion is not without some of them considering how many JWs there are in the world. Look at Jesus for example: his apostles were not all good either. . JUDAS fooled everyone and betrayed JESUS in the end. We are all going to encounter bad things and bad people. . but this is NOT the fault or teachings of the JWs. They are not to blame and do not tolerate this behavior what so ever when it is uncovered. Lets look at the individuals involved here and not blame the JW's. (I spoke to this person on the phone in an attempt to reason with them about this subject. After explaining from my own personal experience as an elder for many years as well as the over 1,000 stories posted on this website that the problem must exist, Dawn chose to say it was all lies and amounted to a form of racism against JW's. At this point I stated she appeared to be a stupid person with reasoning like that. In my opinion anyone who can read 1,000 stories of abuse in the JW community and say it is nothing but racism and a lie is a stupid person. On the other hand since this person has been out of the organization for 14 years I went on trying and in a kind way explain how wt policy worked. I offered to let her talk to an abuse survivor with a recent court case in her area, she refused. I even explained where she could go on the WT website to find where the policy is written. When I asked her to read it carefully to understand how policy orchestrated by home office might put children in danger, she asked to put me on hold and then never came back. I gladly put up comments like this and kindly took her last name off the top. It helps the public to see the small mindedness of misguided people and someday if Dawn will educate herself about this topic she may find her comments quite funny. )silentlambs

 

Cynthia Thursday, March 20, 2003
@ 6:04 PM
This site is looking great!
Well Bill, I think you have outdone yourself this time. The website is fabulous and looks great. Well done!

Yehhidah Thursday, March 20, 2003
@ 8:00 PM
Fabulous!
Bill, I love the new look! Great job. God bless all your hard work.

Andrew Thursday, March 20, 2003
@ 8:35 PM
Wake up Dawn!
Not too many years ago I would have sympathized with Dawns' comments about this website containing false information. However, having come face-to-face with the ugly realities of a horrendous child abuse issue with my JW father against all his children and all his grandchildren while being a publisher, ministerial servant and elder, and enjoying the protection of the Watchtower policies and the "yes-men" elders and COs, I now have a totally different opinion. So many of the abuse victims on this site have related strikingly similar experiences with the perps and perp-supporting elders, that I can only totally believe them. Their stories have the anguished ring of authenticity. And now I am aware of many other cases of hushing up the in-congregation abuse issues. I think as JWs we are trained to be stupid in this way, and we often don't think for ourselves because of the conformist mentality that is continually harangued at the meetings. We tend to block out even reasonable arguments if they don't totally align with present WT doctrine. Pompous and dogmatic WT doctrine is another story. Anyway, I appreciate this website and the ones who are brave enough to speak the truth about this issue. And if Dawn thinks it is false information, then she is in effect calling me a liar. I don't appreciate that. But then that is the party line that we have so often heard, right?

John Thursday, March 20, 2003
@ 11:09 PM
REFRESHING SITE
Greetings to all God's people. I have created this site www. Charts4Christ. com for your use and enjoyment. Please visit and sign my guest book. John

L. B. Thursday, March 20, 2003
@ 11:38 PM
Helping JW's
Someone suggested giving addresses of Jehovah's Witnesses, so that informative letters about the child abuse issue could be sent to them. I think that's a great idea. So many of us couldn't get past the first few words before getting angrily cut off, but if someone else did "the dirty work" :-), maybe then these people could be helped. Maybe then they will listen, will pay attention. Please let us know if we can start doing this. Thank you!

Mag Friday, March 21, 2003
@ 7:26 PM
Nice Job
Love the look of this important site. Keep up the sword of truth. The evil will not be the victor.

Dan Friday, March 21, 2003
@ 8:13 PM
Great New Site
I think you are doing some great work and the new site especially looks great. I was a witness for 8 years from the age of 15. At the age of 32 I still have nightmares and I was never sexually abused. I can only imagine the pain "silent lambs" are going through. Good Luck to you in all your endeavors.

Cheri Sunday, March 23, 2003
@ 1:47 PM
An arrogant and ignorant person
Dawn you are just that: an arrogant and ignorant person. How can you, in good conscience, say that because YOUR childhood was great, (which is truly a blessing) and that because in YOUR experience with the JW's there was none of the same types of incidents, that all of the thousands of stories here are lies? Do you really feel that your ONE measly story and experience can possibly overshadow the thousands here? Do you really feel comfortable being so extremely arrogant that you could honestly say that ALL of these stories are perpetrated by liars? And that since YOUR one story is true that all the rest are false? In examining these cases with an open mind and heart, can you honestly say that you do not feel the pain, shame, tears, anger and sadness coming from all of these survivors? I am ashamed of you!! How old are you? I would venture to say that you are too old to be acting and sounding so very adolescent. I have to say to you young lady, I am one of those survivors! I have 3 siblings and EVERY ONE OF US were victims of sexual abuse and physical abuse at the hands of an elder, (family friend) a ministerial servant, (step-father) a publisher, (my father) another publisher, (our mother). In each case, we children were hushed up. I am the youngest and the stubbornness and at 14 when I went to the local police, in Lake Tahoe, California, about the abuse that I was suffering, I was disfellowshipped for "bringing reproach upon the name of Jehovah". I'll have you know that one of my sisters is so mentally ill that she is beyond human help. She is a diagnosed multiple personality, and paranoid schizo, (direct result of her extreme sexual abuse as a 4 year old child) and my other sister is somewhat mentally ill, (but succeeding in helping herself) and my brother has withdrawn so far into himself that no one can reach him. I, thank god, have found this wonderful site and am finding healing and some help through this. So Dawn, please do not be so arrogant and ignorant as to say that you, the one, are the only honest person to have written to this site as opposed to the great many here. It really makes you a stupid person and makes you laughable. Grow up.

L. B. Monday, March 24, 2003
@ 12:41 AM
Compassion
Hello everyone - - um, I think that all human beings sometimes say or do 'stupid' things, but that doesn't make the person stupid. And emotions can be so strong and overpowering that they can block a person's ability to be really rational and logical. I don't think Dawn is 'stupid'. I think that she is just so steeped in the JW's teachings, so caught up in the organization's mind games and so on, that it is almost impossible for her to not to see things in the black and white world of that religion. Witnesses are being told that former Witnesses are just lying, and unfortunately, because of the way people have been indoctrinated, conditioned, and manipulated by the Watchtower Society, they can't imagine that there could be flaws in their religion. I think it is so important to be patient, tolerant, and even painstakingly gentle and kind with these people. It is hard to undo all the damage done to people's ability to reason for themselves. Taking things in little baby steps with compassion and understanding, with empathy, can be feel very agonizingly frustrating and exasperating at times, but it's important to treat Witnesses with kid gloves. It's not their fault, really, that they can't truly perceive what seems so clear to others. They need tender, loving help to gain the correct perspective. I personally think this 'religion' is really more or less some kind of pyramid company. I also have a sneaking suspicion that at the bottom of everything lays a devious, intimidating scam. I think that it is possible that the so called 'leaders' of this organization don't really care that much about their people at all. It is very sad the way people have been taken in, that when they become Witnesses somehow the way they think, the way they perceive things, the way they even feel somehow gets altered. It's kind of weird. Please, let's all be patient with each other. Everyone feels this need to vent, and wherever people are at in their thinking and emotions, it is a wonderful thing to have freedom of speech. But when we use this precious gift to speak out, it's not a good thing to resort to name calling, unkindness, or any kind of mental and/or mental abuse. That doesn't help. It just adds fuel to the fire. Please, let's not step on anyone's toes. It's so hurtful and demeaning, and demoralizing. And so many people have been demeaned so much, anyway. Their self-esteem needs nurturing. You are all precious people, valid human beings, regardless of your point of view. And all of you please take good care.

Sheri Monday, March 24, 2003
@ 1:16 PM
Thank you
Thank you for your help. I saw a television program regarding this website. The program also profiled a friend of mind as a child who was sexually abused that I was not aware of. I thought I was the only one along with a few friends of mine, but I always suspected that there were more. As a child, I had a dream that someday I would get of the world I was in. It was hell on earth!!! They destroyed my whole family. To this day my mother is mentally ill. They laugh at mentally ill people. I know it's not their fault, but this must be stopped! I saw a lot of people in pain and no where to turn because there whole family is in this. Who can they trust? My father has indicated he feels like a bad weed, my brother is still in it and I have gone through two years of therapy. I am very happy. I found myself a good husband and I have discovered I'm like flower in the earth. I spent most of my life reading self help books and graduated with honors in the medical field. I feel strong. . . Help the people. . . I still have a DREAM. . My dream is not complete.

J. J. Tuesday, March 25, 2003
@ 3:29 AM
Jehovah's Witnesses encourage abuse of all kinds
When I was recently attending the kingdom ministry school of Jehovah's Witnesses one Thursday evening. There was a part by an elder who was interviewing a witness that had only been baptized for a little over a year. The newer witness was a full-time father, full-time worker for an employer, and an auxiliary pioneer for multiple months in a row. The witness was considered an exemplary example to the congregation. The elder encouraged everybody to follow the same course of action. Yes spend as much time out in field service as possible, any damage of neglect to children or family will be undone in the coming new system. As I sat listening, I couldn't help but feel sad for the kids of this witness. I am sure every body who works full-time and has kids knows the difficulty of spending quality time with them and there interests. How much more so if you spent an additional 50 or so hours a month in the field ministry. This brought back painful memories of my emotionally abusive and neglectful childhood. You see my father was that witness spending every available minute in some sort of service to the watchtower organization. I was left alone with the wt and awake magazines and Jehovah to draw close to, but most of the time without my father. But as a Jehovah's Witnesses I was taught that the preaching work is the most important thing, more important than quality time with your children. And yes I realize that this may not be as severe as sexual abuse, but it has brought many painful feelings and unhappiness in my own life. So yes what Jehovah's Witnesses portray in there publications about family life and what actually happens, and maybe not in all families, is two different things. My dad knows the watchtower bible and tract society by heart to the point of dying, but he has yet to know real love.

L. B. Tuesday, March 25, 2003
@ 1:27 PM
Self-help books
Hi, I'd like to recommend a couple of really good books to everyone. One of them is 'Please Stop Laughing at. . . One Woman's Inspirational Story', by Jodee Blanco. Ms. Blanco is very successful in her career, but she had a miserable childhood, due to bullying from classmates from elementary school through high school. It seems like it would be a really good book for people who were abused in any way in the Jehovah's Witness religion. The other book is 'Surrendering To Yourself. . . You Are Your Own Soul Mate', by Iris Krasnow. On the back cover of the book it says, "Once you come to know who you really are, you are ready for anything". This is a good book for everyone! It's an inspiring book for people of all ages, no matter who they are, etc. I hope you all check them out! Amazon. com could give you more information on them. Take care and hang in there.

L. B. Tuesday, March 25, 2003
@ 2:44 PM
Whoops!
I just sent in a post a while ago about a couple of books. It looks like I better proof read before I send out e-mails! The book by Jodee Blanco is, 'Please Stop Laughing at Me. . . One Woman's Inspirational Story'. The other book is 'Surrendering To Yourself. . . You Are Your Own Soul Mate', by Iris Krasnow. Again, I highly recommend these inspiring self-help books!

Tuesday, March 25, 2003
@ 6:20 PM
Getting the word out
I have a niece who is a Jehovah's Witness. Her husband is not a Witness and doesn't seem to be very open to the religion - - at least, so far. I have been 'forbidden' to say anything to him that might be encouraging his wariness and reluctance to get involved in the Jehovah's Witnesses. My niece is hoping that he will eventually come around, and I am not "allowed" to contact him. I'm thinking that if he knew about silentlambs, if he knew more about the facts about the religion, he might be able to help her! Maybe if he had more information on which to base his stand, he could help her to get a more clear view. As much as she wants him to not be swayed by former Witnesses, I want him to not be swayed by the Witnesses! That doesn't feel right to me. I am pretty much in a stuck place and feel helpless and frustrated. Is it possible someone could write to him and other people who can't be contacted, because of any repercussions that might occur if family members or friends, who are former Witnesses, were to contact them. I feel a little at my wit's end sometimes over this situation. Help!

LM Tuesday, March 25, 2003
@ 9:21 PM
USED CAR
Imagine I am a salesman at a car lot. Your niece's husband comes to my car lot. I tell him these awesome things about my used cars and history and about a particular car I want to sell him. When he says he wants to think it over and check out other used lots. I immediately tell him not to. I think of every reason in the book why he needs to immediately buy a car from my lot. You'll lose a great deal and be disappointed in the long run. Don't waste your time they will just say something negative about my car lot. Now, if anyone buys a car from me, without checking in to my history the bad and the good, is that person not an idiot? You see, truth never changes, no matter what I say or you say or anyone says. The truth is the truth. Now in all probability, if I really had the confidence that my cars were the best for the best deals in town, I would encourage you to go out and find a better deal. I would be proud when you came back after failed attempts. But if I didn't have the confidence in my deals, I would do everything possible to persuade you from hearing or thinking anything contrary or negative to what I say and immediately get you committed to a deal. In actuality that may or may not be the best deal for your niece's husband. But the important point is to make informed decision's, the only way you can do that is to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Wednesday, March 26, 2003
@ 6:22 PM
Used Car
Wow, you're good! :-) Thank you. I agree, that the truth is the truth, no matter what. If someone is so sure, so confident that what they have is the truth, they wouldn't have any problem with someone checking out other options and choices. I think my niece's husband is very wise to be so careful. Thank you again for such a great response!

LM Wednesday, March 26, 2003
@ 11:03 PM
There is comfort in knowing I am not alone, thank you
I too, was abused by someone in the "organization". I remember going to an assembly at the age of 13 where they talked about being an accomplice if you knew that someone had done something wrong and had kept it a secret. I was baptized when I was 12, so I felt a huge "moral" obligation to tell the elders what had happened to me. The person who abused me was my uncle so I expected that my speaking out would cause a huge rift in my family but I also expected to be protected. Much to my surprise the one who was protected was him. I have no words to describe how humiliated and ashamed I was made to feel. I sought counseling and filed a police report and the perpetrator was arrested as a result, only to be bailed out by the very elder I had trusted the most, the one I had the courage to confide in. As in any trauma you don't get over it, you just learn to live with it. Although this happened 20 years ago it truly is more difficult to deal with than the abuse itself.

Ian Thursday, March 27, 2003
@ 10:08 AM
Admiration
It takes real courage to do what you have done, Bill. It takes even greater courage for the abused to come forward and tell their stories. My family and I are fortunate, we have never experienced such abuse. My wife and I were JWs for 15 years. We brought our four children up in the teachings. Six weeks ago, after having amassed so much evidence of deceit, lies and false prophesying, my wife, two sons and I left the organization. Our two daughters, however, have stayed. The older is married and the younger one left home because of our stance. Incredibly and heartbreakingly, both now shun us and not one of our "friends" has been in touch! The Watchtower is an evil organization that destroys families. My own family, previously so strong and loving, has been torn apart. I admire and applaud what is being achieved here - and elsewhere - to expose the organization for what it truly is. I live in England, but the love we exJWs have permeates the globe. And you know what, it's REAL love. God bless you all. United, we SHALL be victorious.

Nik Thursday, March 27, 2003
@ 7:26 PM
There's no recovery for ex-JWs
I have heard stories like the ones of Silent Lambs before, not even on message boards but from real JWs. I've heard of people being molested and the JWs not reporting it, and I've even heard of a girl who was raped at a JW party but it was kept from the police & never went to court. For Dawn- for all the "Dawns" out there, I cannot believe that someone could be so brainwashed, so completely controlled to not see the evil that can be produced from certain organizations. I do not intend to be labeled an "apostate," for I love God very much, I would never intentionally work against Him. However, these people automatically label one as such when any questioning comes into play. When I became a teenager, shortly after I left the "truth" I fell into drug abuse, dangerous sex, and many other horrible truly worldly things. I prayed that God would find me (though I didn't think he even existed for many years) and help me out of the hole I had put myself in. Last summer I found God again and my heart was washed clean, however, I felt the Witness's weren't correct and didn't go back. To this day, though I cannot fully remember, I believe that I was molested by someone in this organization. I've tried desperately to recall who did this, I have faint memories, but apparently it's been blocked out of my mind. The fact that I was abused- I could eventually deal with that. What I cannot deal with, is the idea that my family and everyone who I thought was a friend hates me because I don't believe in these teachings which are proving to be so faulty. I will never be accepted by my mother, not only that but all the years spent growing up as a JW has left me emotionally scarred and dead inside. If it wasn't for my father who isn't a JW, my wonderful fiancee�, and the fact that God came into my life and gave me back my faith in Him, I surely would have already put a gun to my head. I am now dealing with the scars of being a JW, scars I didn't even realize existed until I left, and am currently trying to find friends and a new church to attend with REAL Christians. Regardless of how I feel and my personal pain, I want to tell every single member of the silentlambs and otherwise that my heart goes out to them. I believe that more and more everyday, holes are being punched through the doctrine of the JWs and their facade is growing thin. Hopefully, one day all will be exposed to everyone in the organization and everyone can be put on the path to a healthy recovery and a new found correct faith in God. Again, I do not mean to steer anyone away from their beliefs- I am NOT an anti-Christ, I am not "Apostate," I simple want the truth. I want God in my life, and not false hope and empty propaganda. I pray for everyone- I pray for myself. Thank you for this site, it has helped to open my eyes.

Claudine Thursday, March 27, 2003
@ 10:00 PM

Absolutely beautiful web site! I got the Germany transcript today and thought that I would give it to the elders, so that they can see how to not get caught in this trap of two witnesses or a REPENTANT child molester-yeah right! I think someone else suggested it also, so I don't claim it to be an original idea. Maybe, one of them will see the light and protect a child! The congregation is Upper Lake, California and I know that there is a history of child molestation, unreported, ignored and the molester died without ever being disfellowshipped. It has ruined lives. My love and God's Blessings to each and every one of you! Love, Claudine

P. C. Ireland Saturday, March 29, 2003
@ 5:36 PM
Thank You
Just a note to say "thank you". Your courage is great and you are doing a great service to people who could not speak up for themselves, because they have been destroyed by this treacherous organization ! How dare they claim to represent God on this earth!! What does Jehovah think of their policy on paedophiles ? Would he want dirt swept under the carpet in order to keep his organization 'CLEAN'? Why would Jehovah need that? What would Jesus have done about paedophiles ? I do know that he loved children . We must continue to protect the innocence and vulnerability of our precious children . How dare they suggest that there should be two witnesses to a child rape!! And that this is one of Jehovah's rulings!! Isn't everything witnessed by God himself?? Is He not regarded as a witness??? Do these people who run this organization think we are all stupid ?? As you can probably see , they make my blood BOIL!! I consider myself very fortunate to have escaped from their grasp. I console myself with the teachings of Jesus Christ with two of his teachings in particular, when he said of his true followers "by their fruit you will know them" ; and also my real reassurance; "you will come to know the truth and the truth will set you free". . . . . . . . and it did! Thank you, Yours Sincerely,P. C. Ireland

Paul Saturday, March 29, 2003
@ 10:10 PM
The JWs offered me a young girl!
When 19 years old a JW elder tried to entice me into the congregation with the promise to marry a young JW girl. The elder pointed to a 13 year old girl standing by her mother. The mother of the girl smiled and said,"he sure looks handsome. Don't you think so Becky?" The poor little girl just blushed and agreed with her stupid mother. I called the elder and mother "pimps. " I find that most religions are for the weak, either in mind and/or body. They use the religions as a crunch,or hide behind it as they wear a mask preventing people to see them for what they really are, monsters. I've friends that commit sins all the time and then ask for forgiveness from god after, just so they can commit the same sin again. . . DON'T EVER ONYONE OF YOU BE A COWERED! BE DILIGENT IN ASSERTIVNESS, AND REPORT ALL PERVERTS.

C. T. Monday, March 31, 2003
@ 1:33 AM
Anyone else from Rosemont congregation Alexandria, VA around 1967 to 1971?
I have spent my adult life trying to deal with the effects of my JW elder father's abuse. There has been tremendous healing in my life and tremendous difficulty. I am 40 and have been out of touch with my parents for years (my parents who initially shunned me after I left the J. W. 's at 16 and started sleeping w/ my boyfriend at 17--and who now say nothing ever happened. ) I thought I was hallucinating when I started having flashbacks at age 30, although they clarified the reasons for my repeated struggles with depression and suicidal/ self injuring impulses. What I want to ask is, is there anyone else visiting this site who experienced abuse by J. W. 's involved in the Rosemont congregation (no longer extant)in Alexandria, VA during the late 60's to early 70's, or the Manassas, VA congregation in the 1970's, or for that matter, in the Longwood or Altamonte Springs, FL congregations in the 1980's? I have been able to verify some details tied to some of my flashbacks, but other troubling flashbacks involving other JW's seem too farfetched to be believed.

Monday, March 31, 2003
@ 11:11 PM
Good lord :|
You guys don't know anything about the witnesses so stop thinking you do. You are all stupid. :|

 

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